*bEyoNd scRiBbLe*

It is really great.. wait.. awesome.. to hear from a person you have lost contact after so long, right?

This friend of mine, was a good friend during my primary school. Though we have lost contact throughout the secondary school and college times, an online call made just recently, it made me feel so good.

the warmth, and the laughter. though we haven’t seen each other for so long.

that friend i have when i was still a kid. who still remembers how i was when i was in class. the dedication i’ve put during the school years, the tantrum i’ve thrown to get what i wanted, the fights i’ve started but refused to end them. The silent treatment to anyone who just pisses me off. Hah!

that friend, who still remembers the color of my bike, and the road to my house. and even the shortcuts we used to get to another park. such vivid memory. I thank you, friend. i am truly sorry for keeping my distance for so long. thinking that all my old friends have forgotten me while i try to make friends in a foreign place. where i studied for 5 years, but still there were empty spaces, not knowing who to look for, to share my dreams and fears.

i thought i have friends there.. but since i was in my second year, people there hated me. too young, yet too unfortunate.. i know there’s rumors going around saying bad stuffs about me. (those who know or at least remember, i am entrusting you, with the worst experience i have there.. please do not tell..).

to you, who started this rumor, and you, who just had to tell everyone though you can always come and ask me first; i will find it in my heart, the will to forgive you. but i may be forgiving, it is not as easy to forget..

though the stupid rumor was not true. but i know people hated me for that. and somehow, i felt the need to be distant. I have never shown my true colors when I was there. Honestly.

But I thank you, friends.. and teachers.. who appreciated me, and needed me. I know I couldn’t have survived the 5 years without you.

Especially you.. who kept me strong, though the tide is huge, and the sun is blazing wild. Who came looking for me, at my room, or my class.. because to you.. I mean something. The small gestures actually mean a lot to me. Thank you.

And to you, syg.. for always having to put up with my tears when I tell you stories of my time, there. Terima kasih. Sungguh saya sayangkan kamu.

Tuhan, kuatkan sekeping hati ini!

Though you came and spoil the show.. It was all in all, still a great run. (I hate you, by the way.. just so you know..)

Whoah.. I have reached the legal age for all the countries around the world. But don’t think it would matter much anyway. LOL.

It was a really tiring day, on the 19th. I was planning of organizing a get together just to celebrate my big day at 9 pm on the 20th when Besut suggested doing it at 12 am on the 20th. So, I said, ‘hey.. why not? I don’t mind. As long as there will be people coming over”. And so we tried to prepare for the night’s dishes. It took quite some time. But still, Alhamdulillah.. sempat gak nak gi terawikh. Lepas terawikh, terus siap2 masak. Ape2 yang ade je la.

But the funny part was that, when I actually thought the party was my organizing, I was asked to sit outside the house after 12 am. Sejuk kot. Kejam siyot korang. hahaha. Kena pakai witch punye topi pulak. Tapi masuk2 tu, mcm blank kejap la.. sbb tahu kot sume org dah smpi.. xde la surprise sgt. Tapi gelap gak.. Pastu bunyi poppers. Ada belon byk2.. Siap eja ‘A.Y.I.E’ kot.. power gile kau buat, Nik Aisyah.. Yang pakai kat kepala lagi.. Haha.. comel2.. tp Apam.. poppers tu sakit kot.. Kena tangan!! Lilin pun dah pendek sbb sempat gi toilet dulu kat rumah (sape suruh bagi org duduk dalam sejuk.. ngehngeh).

Azreen, Besut, Bear, Faris, Elfer, Najmi Farhan, Nik Aisyah, Ninah, Munir, Mong, Epok, Najmi, Sarah, Sepol, Farouk, Hussen, Afiq, Paklan, Wanzu, Ain, Wayne, Bob, Apam, Pokem, Nedoc, Eani, Farhana, Izza.. (rse mcm takde lupe sesape)
TERIMA KASIH KERANA DATANG.
TERIMA KASIK KERANA BERSUSAH-SUSAH.
TERIMA KASIH BECAUSE YOU WERE THERE.
Though there was this unfortunate incident, tapi I was really glad that you guys were there. I was pissed, and angry, frustrated even when it happened. Tapi bila ade yang datang, dan tenangkan. It was all’s well. ( i guess)
ALHAMDULILLAH.

I even told myself, betul la org kate, “don’t cry because it’s over, SMILE because it happen”.
Boleh la kot nak senyum dan cakap, makcik tu loser.. HAHAHA.. *gelak2 besar*

Ok la.. the day isn’t over pun sbnrnye. Byk je lagi benda boleh happen. Tp, just want this piece to be on the web as soon. Hee~

syg korang sume.. =)

Malaysian Carnival‘08.

Let me begin by taking a deep breath. inhale. exhale. phew~
How relieved I was for the event is finally over. Though it has been a week. The excitement, the fulfillment, the pride is still here. Inside this beating heart. Oh. what a feeling! Oh. what a day!

Malaysian Carnival was our first attempt at introducing Malaysian cultures, foods, games and customs to the general public, and also, to hold a main event that gather Malaysian students throughout South Australia.

The turnout was great. We were so worried of the response from the public because it has been raining the whole week before the Sunday. But ALHAMDULILLAH. Thank you, Allah. It did not rain the whole day. It was sunny but still breezy. The weather was great. The audience was great. The food was finger-licking-good.

The performances were some had said, to have not been so good. But hey! We had fun performing. Anyway, what do you expect, from amateur dancers, who only had about AUD200 to spend on almost everything? The kipas, the bunga, the bulu, the pelamin (oh wait! the pelamin took up another AUD200. haha.. make that AUD400 total), the bunga telur, the bunga rampai, the choreographs we made up ourselves, the time we spend practicing without any professional help?
(talking on behalf of the malay dance, zapin, joget and malay wedding. hee~).

Anyway, I’m sure you had fun that day. Though I am not supposed to say (since I am one of the organizing committee), I think the event was great fun. The people who came enjoyed themselves. Or at least, made their growling stomach happy (haha.. on  a happy note, that’s ME)
Oh! I would love to see the carnival being held next year as well. Please continue this event in the future?

p/s: look out for updates on "Malam Merdeka’o8". 24th of August, Dom Polski~

I skipped classes today. Have not been feeling well since yesterday, after donating some 470ml of my A + blood. My hands are still hurting right now. Though it has almost been 24 hours. Probably they pierced the needle at a different angle than before or something. Oh well.. it hurts!

At first, the nurse was hesitant to let me donate since my Haemoglobin (or Hb for short) level were not in the acceptable range. It is supposed to be in between 120-165g/L, and my Hb level was at 118g/L. After forcing blood to ooze out from my finger the second time, she then decided to pierce the needle on my right arm since i decided to donate blood using my left arm. She took about 10ml of blood from my right arm for just about a drop to be used on the machine that tests Hb level. And finally, there it was recording, the new Hb level of 121g/L. So I was finally qualified to donate.

And accompanied with an iron and Haemoglobin booklet I was asked to read, I lay there about 8 minutes and delivered the 470ml blood with an average blood rate of 55ml/sec.

Then, I decided to walk to uni; return a library book, submit my assignment and my practical experience form. After walking for about 10 minutes, going up and down the stairs (if i can recall correctly), I felt the world was spinning slowly. Blood was definitely not coming to my head. I can feel my head jerked a little to the right. And to relieve the pain a bit, I decided to take small steps and get to the nearest chair I can find.

But to my disappointment, the nearest common area in the engineering building was about another 100m walk, down the stairs, and through another four doors. I was pretty sure some kids were looking puzzled at me. A friend whom I accidentally bumped into, came and sit with me said that I was looking rather pale. At that moment, I can swear I was sweating like hell. Though it was only about 12 degrees. After completing all the tasks I set out to do, I decided to go faint at home (haha.. as if).

And here I am, the next day, with a needle mark on both arm, and a prick on one finger, writing, safe and sound on my small bedroom.
(Alhamdulillah. Thank you, Allah.. for bringing me back home, safely..)

I was hoping to do something special today. Class finished at 12, so I decided to watch the 1 litre of tears movie afterwards.

The movie was not so much special. Mostly were flashbacks, and even Erika Sawajiri was not acting out anything new in that movie.. (well.. duh~ according to the story, she died 5 years ago..)

Anyway, there were flashbacks after flashbacks of the struggle Aya went through; when Asou-kun (who is now a doctor) telling his patient about Aya and how amazing she was. It was nothing new, but still.. I CRIED.. i cried so hard that my cheeks are still hurting.. and my eyes are pretty sore at the moment. The movie was to me.. a recap to the whole series.. And remembering every tiny little detail was a heartache.. It made me cry.. it made me weep.. it made me so sad that I want the ending to change.. (please someone.. find a cure for Aya-Nee)

So then, I wanted to find anything else related to the story.. I somehow find it hard to let go.. While searching, I came across Kitou Aya’s diary.. the real diary.. the published diary.. but then.. it was in Japanese.. no published english translation yet.. *aaaa.. so sad*
But I don’t want to give up just yet.. And I came across this.  It was a xanga site.. where 2 girls are trying to help everyone realise what Aya is really going through.. They so much wanted the world to know that they find time to translate the diary. And i am really thankful that they actually did that..
Thank you Pye and Kiwi.. \(^_^)?

But please, if anyone by any chance.. know that the diary is published somewhere.. in a language that i can understand.. please let me know..